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i understand...

i'm 30 almost 31 with a wonderful husband of 9 years, and two beautiful little ones, 4 and 3. i experienced the same thing recently and it completely took me by suprise. i always had a very healthy libido and felt down about the lack of desire and energy i had at the end of the day for my hubby and me.

i found out that most of my problem stemmed from birth control, i don't know if you are on any, but if you are this could definitely do it. also, i realized that i was just not taking time for "us" and myself, after nursing my son for 2 1/2 years, being a stay at home mom and trying to establish myself as an artist...there was just no time and energy left over.

now, i try and connect with my husband before night falls, sneaking away with him for a few moments while the kids are busy, and just trying to find a new balance for "us" amongst the things in our lives.

i doon't know if that helps much, but just want you to know i feel you, and i think the advice you got from the two previous ladies was right on also...make sure to take "me" time and pamper yourself.

-ki
"I'm making room for my joy"

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Re:A waning libido

Peace Sis!

I can absolubtely relate to your concern, as I am 27 years old, and I felt as though you just described my everyday plight. I deal with working a job, having a little one to look after, a husband, and maintaining our home, and I end up at the end of the day feeling like I could just crash...no questions asked...I jut want my head to hit the pillow. But my husband has avery intimate sex dive, and that just won't do. I totally agree that you are most likely stressed, worried, and possible an although I am not sue of your diet, that could also effect your energy levels, but mostly stress is a big cause to low libido...and worrying. Many times I would get even more stressed because I would feel guilty for not having the energy or would continue along, but feel TOTALLY exhausted afterwads or the next day over....

I mean the thought of being intimate just made me tired just thinking about it...I wanted to, but my body and my mind was on two different vibrations....if you cn develop some sort of relaxation "ritual" that may help you out...

I think also, it is important to ask ourselves, what is a healthy sex drive for women...many times we are subject to comparing ou sexual relationships to medias portrayal..such as having sex everyday or every other day...but is that really healthy?..jut a thought, I guess it depends on ones personality..but yeah, I would definately say that you are just stressed, and you need some "you" time first in order to give him & you the time you both deserve...pamper yourself, adorn yourself, making yourself feel beautiful inwardly then outwardly, then with him, and your sexual intimacy will be sure to rise...hope this helps,,and makes sense, heck I need to take my own advice, I would lov to hear what advice othrs may have for this...like are there thing we as women can do within our diets, or excercise, and how does one find the time for "herself" whn bombarded with so many responibilities...answers to those questions would help those like you and I a lot as well!!!

Peace Sis, & great topic!

Re:A waning libido

Thanks you two, the advice on diet is well taken, I do need to improve mine (too much dairy is my main problem) and the self love has definately helped too. I think that was the main problem, a problem many of us sisters have, trying to be all things to all people, leaving nothing over for ourselves.