I'm in a very reflective, pensive mood.

All is well but I have learned and am learning how to bask in the beauty of the past while pressing diligently forward to that which is clear in my mind's eye, yet in reality, remains a mystery. I am excited, yet calm; worried, yet strangely at peace. I am alert, yet in the same breath, disconnected from it all. Most importantly, I am happy. I am loved and in being loved, am able to love others, freely. Not a bondage love or a needy love, but a love that is as wild and unrestrained as the wind. I've been chasing love for a while now, only to wind up tired, confused and frustrated because I couldn't understand its course. I was trying so hard to control, rather hold on to something that was never meant to be held captive. When the light bulb finally clicked on, I realized that like the wind, love cannot be held captive. It needs the space to be free, the space to breathe, a space to just be. Lessons like these are never easy to swallow but somehow I manage to get full from the wisdom they bring. Strangely, or should I say ironically, love swept in like a much-needed breeze, one that I wasn't anticipating, but welcomed. And what I experienced wasn't so much the love of another, it was a love for self that I had abandoned somewhere along my journey years ago.

I get it now. And with the revelation, love has finally returned home. By doing so, I can be like the wind ... free to be me ... unrestricted, unrestrained yet ever-changing.