Have we always been single mothers? Is it a new concept, a post modern concept, a consequence of enslavement or any other social analysis....? I wonder...When my son arrived on July 20th of last year, though at that time bonded with my husband, delivering him into this universe was a singualry, undescribable experience of both pain and blessing...and when my son cried or stirred for a good month, I insisted on being the one to care to be to go despite exhaustion.

Then I think of this culture in which we live and give to as if "normal." The separation of labor, the emotional investment in the nuclear family, in what we have been taught is the way of being....I wonder..

I never dreamed of being here...going through a divorce...a single, technologically married woman with son...working to pay daycare, even needing daycare, underpaid teacher...but I am here.

Much like my ancestors, women folk who cared not only for theirs but all children...much like my mother, my grandmother, many of mine who raised children with love and principle without support only a community of like energy...

I am thinking that it is not the physical divorce but the divorce of expectation that hurts most...I am thinking that my son chose me to move through and that is why I resisted know better...it is because he knew better than i, closer to our source, our Creator...

So, all that brings me to single motherhood...does it exist at all...or is it a reality of all mothers married or not...a concept more political than real...

shahn