In trying to share literature with teens, I occasionally get frustrated/saddened by some kids' tendencies to almost always be cynical, jaded, sarcastic, or pessimistic. Can't they drop the cold-as-ice persona for a few seconds?, I sigh inwardly. That attitude will still be there when they're done, if they really think they need to have it! However, while I try to be as positive as I can in the classroom, I feel an invisible finger pointing back at me. "Maybe you need to check your own self, Ms. Sunshine!", my inner voice says.

Sure enough, while I may be a positive teacher, I still have many moments in the rest of my life when I feel like I need to be hard, cool, collected, above-it-all, or any other smooth adjectives that come down to a craving for invulnerability, to a fear of being exposed as too sensitive, too human. In the drive to prove that I am grown and beyond childish things, it seems that I have also put aside some of the enthusiasm I once had for the little joys of life: a beautiful day, a new friend, learning something new. So for me, pride can be one of the biggest barriers to my happiness--in the script of society I must be hard to get, high maintenance, difficult to please, a perfectionist. When I play that part, it can be difficult to say to a friend, "I'm glad you're here", "Can you help me?", or simply, "I need a hug today!". Hmmmm, not so different from the kids, am I?

One activity that puts a smile on my face and melts the ice (I've tried this with students too, and it usually works) is to think about my favorite things as a child: books, TV shows, places, friends, anything at all. In one instance, where high schoolers picked a favorite childhood book to read to elementary schoolers, I even got smiles from the smoothest operator in class! I could see in my students the same urge to connect, to teach, and to protect in the younger students the sense of everyday wonder that they themselves were often pushing away. I love the organizational and intellectual challenge of preparing students for the real world, but teaching is also highlighting all the emotional baggage that even adults with good intentions can bring to the table. We talk about "youth issues" sometimes without reflecting on our own internal struggles, which kids can often sense even if they don't know the details. So in this case, doing inner work on ourselves and taking time out is not a luxury--it is essential if we are going to be any good to our kids, whether we are teachers, mentors, parents, or siblings.