This week ended for me with a lesson I will carry with me.

My work is topsy turvy at the moment, most of my co-workers are being laid off. So like everyone I am a bit nervous at what path god has for me because I believe anything that happens then forth is the will of the almighty, and I am being faithful.

My workplace is forever with stories that I have tried to stay away from, sometimes its hard to because the stories and gossip is every where even in management. I work closely with two other colleagues (that is we share work space and clients etc). One of my co-worker who I am closer to (Jane) called me recently (while I was on vacation) to inform me that she was given a different position and we talk about the possibility of change and how those changes would affect us, I am fond of her and I'm actually pleased for her because she is a very pleasant, calm, sweet person whose personality I wish to emulate.

After I came from vacation, my other co-worker (Mary), who is also my union rep, called me, because she wanted to talk about the changes at work and how it will affect us three....we are changing supervisor, job description etc. In conversation she mentioned the new position that Jane got, I got the impression she wanted to get information from me, so I try to be limit what I said ( or so I thought). Because she is the union rep, she is privy to lots of information, and she is also personally closer to the psychiatrist/physicians at work, as she feels that rubbing shoulders with them would make her appear competent ( I assume).

Mary is up front with her opinion and she is older among us three, so sometimes I look forward to her insite, because I am new to my position and she is seven years my senior at the job . She is also very argumentative which is directed at anyone in her path even our supervisor , she is the only one who complains about the job load and when she does, she does it in a way as if she is speaking for all three of us. I have a rather thick Britishy accent and she thinks that she needs to speak up for me because I don't speak clearly? or because my co-worker and I is of a different race and that therefore makes us not able to speak for ourselves or stupid? or she is older and knows it all?

Yesterday she had a phone conversation with my supervisor to complain about the work load because more duties were added to our already heavy load. I don't know the nature of the conversation, only what she Mary reported back. When she was ranting away I blocked out half of the conversation. I do clearly remember that she told my supervisor that I was the one who informed her of Jane's new position and that she will no longer be our supervisor. I really find it an unpleasant situation when I have to explain myself to others, and I know I did not tell her anything, because I was on vacation when these decisions were made and she was the one who gave the "run down" when I returned.

Now I don't know how to tactfully handle these she say, they says.....I only know the walk away method or how to ignore or leave things be. I know I need to confront her, because my reputation at work is based on childish behaviors like that, but I hate arguments, because I know that's where it will lead to and I hate my name is un-necessary conversations. I mean what kind of adult, a professional at that, repeats things that are untrue, or repeats conversations she had with others?

My lesson, which does not only applies to work, because even in church sometimes I find there are conversations that ,when I am lying in bed and reflecting about the day I am really deeply embarrassed about. I have to confess my faults: I like a juicy story, but that is what I have to change. Juicy stories are usually negative, no matter how entertained I am at the time. Even though at the time of the conversation inside I am cringing, I am sometimes to scared about what my company will say if I tell them we shouldn't engage in those kind of conversations.

When I was growing up there was a saying, " Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can do me no harm". Words does harm, we are judged by our words, we hurt others with our words, children are destroyed with words, self esteem, reputation all affected by words. The words that comes out of our mouth, tells our character.

My new motto, which I have to stick to: If it does not concern the work I have to do, or if its going to demean someone else or if it's about someone else, I want no involvement.