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What kind of relationship do you have with your body and its' essential parts? Do you have a relationship with your creative bowl and center - your vagina? Or do you ignore its existence and cut it off from the rest of you? And what kind of relationship does your partner have with your vagina? Is it one that is disconnected, sought after only for relief and his pleasure, and ignored in the process? Or do you acknowledge your vagina each day and honor its greatness? How close are you to your vagina, although it's “down there” and farther away from your eyes? The location of our genitals has been regionally challenging since women carry their sexual organs internally and men carry theirs externally. It's no wonder that our
female organs remain hidden from plain sight and mostly disregarded by society and ourselves while women continue to dissociate themselves from their vagina. If we are to heal our sexuality, we need to begin with the relationship we have with vagina and other body parts.

It is a socially accepted fact that most heterosexual women have never looked closely at another woman's genital area. And of the women who have looked at their own, they make sure the doors are locked and no
one is home. This demonstrates the feeling of sexual isolation or disconnection between a woman and her body. Words like, “my thing”, “down there”, “coochie”, “pussy”, are used to describe the world that exists between our legs. In discovering
hundreds of names that people have invented to refer to a woman's genital, I am amazed at the common association with foods and animals or as something that serves a man's genital, like “cock warmer”, “bone polisher” or “dick mitten”. Furthermore, cultural, history, and ritual conditioning have led women to associate their vaginas with pain -(first intercourse and childbirth), with vulnerability to male domination – (rape, violence), with "uncleanliness"- (menstruation), and with
women's essential inferiority to the phallus-bearing male - (Freudian psychology).

As Goddesses, we must honor our vagina. It is like the moon (receptive) and symbolizes the subconscious realm of femininity. It is
changeable, moist, seductive and awesomely, magnetically attractive. Everything about the vagina appears to be secretive, dubious, and bewitching. Penetrating this passageway creates new life and unless one has ventured into these realms, one does not belong to the initiated. Females carry a variety of energies in this secret chamber ranging from the internalization of anger, resentment and mistrust to joy, peace and bliss.

Whenever we consume food or alcohol, the essence from what we eat and drink travels down to that alluring center of creation. It is like a magnet that draws to it, a receptacle that holds in. It is our power center and thus it contains light and electric currents that attract. Whenever I eat something like chocolate (which contains approximately 380 known chemicals, saturated fat and sugar) or any food that is clearly not compatible with my body it is only shortly after that it begins to invade my pelvic region. It is a discomforting feeling and I am reminded that I am not "loving" myself. My pelvic region is the first place that speaks loud through the sensations and movements. This accumulation of foreign, toxic energy builds up over time blocking our creativity and wellness, while manifesting diseases
like fibroid tumors, uterine and cervical cancer, irregular periods, and hormonal imbalance. Yet, how many women hear the calls from the V area? "I love being female, I love being with a man. If I ground my sexual energy, I am here and now, otherwise I'm just roaming. Grounded sexual energy brings peace and nourishment to the soul."

My relationship with my vagina began at an early age. I would explore it and use the mirror to look at it. At that time my genitals looked
rather unattractive, like a wrinkled face with a small nose and no eyes. When hair began to grow around the outer lips of my vagina, my girlfriend and I would explore each other's secret area to see who was growing the most hair. The sensations and the calls from that area would certainly overpower the look. We were less than teenagers and our curiosity was not arrested nor tainted with the dos and don'ts or taboos of the western world. We were living in Africa. I discovered gray hair in my V area at an early age and was told that it signified the wisdom of my vagina. (That's how I responded the first time – with laughter.)Since redeveloping a deeper relationship with my vagina, I've come face to face with other facets of my own power. I feel a closer connection with myself and my body and mind are more fused. Upon awakening, I try to remember to send it love and greet and praise the kingdom that holds the secret to life. I affirm the unchartered waters of life it carries and the areas I have yet to explore. In humble prayers, I ask that it share the secrets that it carries and to guide me with its unparallel wisdom. My vagina and I have a rapport.

The power of touch can heal our sexual pains and imbalances. Massage is
an effective way of establishing deep communication with vagina and you. Massaging the V area as well as the abdominal region helps the circulation of blood, freeing the body of toxic elements. It is an important aid in channeling sexual energy. When you massage yourself you become more and more familiar with your body and its needs. The energetic vibrations from your own hands are most appreciated by your body. And clears the communication lines between within you so you are able to hear the unlimited wisdom your body carries. I recommend
reading Essential Reiki by Diane Stein.

Try this simple exercise:allow your tongue to rest at the bottom of your
mouth with the tip resting behind the lower teeth and away from the roof of the mouth. Consciously allow your jaw muscles to let go. Let your lips soften, parting slightly. Let your eyebrows unfold. Breathe in and out of your nostrils allowing the breathe to move down into your chest area and then into your abdominal region. Exhale tracing the breathe back up and out of your nostril. Let your facial muscles melt. Can you feel the shift? The shift you experience also takes place in your sexual and pelvic muscles. Let it go! Those who habitually hold on to their emotions has learned to hold on to emotions are usually biting and gritting their teeth- (even when they sleep). The tension in that area reaches down into the pelvic region. The pattern is usually traced back to fear, tension and the habits of expression carried over from childhood. This holding back takes place in the throat, vaginal and heart area – (chakras). The learned believe is sex should not be enjoyed; it is a necessary evil in the marital relationship and an act of mundane mechanics. They are unable to understand the far-reaching benefits of surrendering to the sexual
flow and the healthy changes the body undergo. "G stands for Growth, Good, Glorious, Goddess. Find the G spot, and you've found your way home." As a Yoga teacher, body worker and energy therapist, I come across many women who have sexual blockages. Their bodies speak out loudly through my hands as I work them. I feel the excess heat built up in their second chakra area that pronounces an accumulation of negative chi. In the spinal column, the sacrum is sore, in the thoracic area T9 through T12 and in the lumbar are L1 through L5 tightness and rigidity are palpable. These areas on the spinal column correspond to the sexual organs, uterus and ovaries. The spinal cord's nerve branch out through openings between the vertebrae and connects to the internal organs, muscles, joints, ligaments, tendons and other body parts. The vertebral subluxation - an often painless spinal distortion, can irritate or damage spinal nerves, thus interfering with your brain-body connection and your overall well-being. Having regular chiropractic spinal adjustments is the key, I always tell my students.

I always hear women say to themselves, “I am so stupid”, “I don't know anything” or “I hate myself.” When you do this you dishonor, minimize your power and abuse yourself. This does not constitute a healthy relationship with self. Imagine when it comes to the vagina, just how many women are rejecting and desecrating their bodies. This no doubt draws the same vibration of abusive relationships that correspond and reveal the relationship they have with themselves. So who's to blame that your relationships are failing when you don't have a loving one with yourself? Having loving, caring and prosperous intimate relationships with others require it begins within.

Consider today, the first day of the rest of your life. You have the opportunity to begin a new and loving relationship with your body and yourself. So let's begin with the area in which you made your passage into the world.... the VAGINA!. Love it! Cherish it! Empower it! And by all means take care of your sacred space!

"Sex lies at the root of life, and we can never learn reverence for life until we learn reverence for sex."

About The Author:Angelique Shofar, CMT, CYT is a Sexual Wellness Coach, Integrative Holistic Practitioner, Reflexologist and creator of Soulfull Yoga™. She conducts Sexual Wellness Workshops and designs Wellness Retreats in exotic places. Her practice focuses on women's sexuality, wellness and empowerment. She is available for workshops and consultations online and on location. Visit her website at: www.spiritofwellness.org or Email her at: thesexualgriot(at)gmail.com