You are invited to our ANNUAL ANCESTOR CELEBRATION.
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Hosted by: Iya Agan Isese Agbaye, Ile Omo Irunmole Isese Agbaye

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We give honor to our Ancestors and our Egbe. Help us celebrate the lives of those that have recently transitioned over as well as those that have long crossed over, Ancestors and our Egbe.

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You may bring photos of your deceased relatives for the Ancestor altar and photos of your friends to put on the Egbe altar. You can bring small items your Ancestors or Egbe liked or used in their everyday lives to go on the altar. Please make sure the photos contain only your deceased relatives and friends. Photos and items you place on the altar will be returned to you when you are ready to leave.

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How do you deal with toxic people in your life who also happen to be family members? It can be very difficult to separate from toxic people, and even more so from family members because we are so closely interwined.

I love my family very much, but the home environment I was raised in was extremely dysfunctional (domestic violence, etc). I made a vow to myself from a young age not to emulate certain patterns. I have made a lot of progress in self-healing by doing things such as going to counseling, developing my spirituality, and generally moving towards positvity. I've accepted the fact that my family is addicted to drama and will probably never change, but I don't have to be that way. Emotionally, I've found it best to distance myself from them.

Sister, I can relate. I have done genealogical research on my side of the family that is not close. I chose the adventure for my self knowledge and especially for my babies. Here we go this is how you can start.....

Make a folder to store all your data you discover.

Dig up as many names, birth dates, death dates and stories as possible.

Most major cities have a Genealogy Library, check with the local libraries and see if you have one in your city. If not, the Genealogy Library has some records on line. All the libraries in the U.S. have records from all the states and even some foreign countries. You can google the Library...

Universities near you may have genealogy groups established, that would be a good start. So hit up your local colleges, universities and especially Historically Black ones. You can inquire in the History departments and the campus Libraries.

You can also google the surnames(last names) and counties your ancestors lived. You may be surprised, sometimes other individuals have started archiving your ancestors and are seeking more information. You may be the missing link to someone Else's family tree.

I have just been through a traumatic experience in my life which almost compromised everything I believed in. My husband had asked me for a divorce. I will admit that our marriage was not picture perfect. He was controlling and verbally abusive but I truly felt that if I showered him with love, then he would realize that he had a good woman standing by his side. I mean, I really thought that if I showed him with enough love and nurturing, because I truly feel that love conquers all, and give him all that he wanted, then he would appreciate me. Where the heck was my self-esteem? I made so many sacrifices in our marriage. We eloped because he insisted on not having anyone but the JP at our wedding; needless to say, my parents were devastated; I removed myself from my social circle because he didn't like any of my girlfriends; I distanced myself from any work function or social activities because I looked like "the sell-out"; Would you believe I even contemplated cutting off my locs because he wanted me to change my look? I am so glad I didn't do it.

I now understand fully my role as mom in the family, and the power that I posses to make my family better or worse. Some people think that being a parent is just simply TELLING a child what to do and what not to do, but there is so much more to parenting, more than I think we understand at the beginning of parenthood. As the mother of this family, I have a duty to nurture my children and the man in my life, to create a home life that is inviting, open and comfortable, and to be as transparent as I can. For a long time I felt that keeping my mistakes from my children would benefit them, but I get it now that being transparent, allowing them to see that mom was where they are once upon a time in my life is been wonderful, and has bridged a gap between us. With the man in my life, it has taken me some time to realize that being open and honest is love, no matter how uncomfortable it may be. I have to love him enough to be honest, love him enough to trust him with the parts of me that are deep and in a place that very few ever get to see. Becoming more open and getting off of my imaginary perfect pedestal has been therapeutic, and just a great feeling.

If you did not get downtown in Washington, D.C. this weekend you missed it!

It was fun to be had with beauty, good food eating , family, dancing all around you. I Really Really enjoyed myself this Sunday at the Black Family Reunion. My son ( 8yrs.old.) and my self enjoyed our selves totally, the food had your senses running you did not know which way to turn and wish fired fish stand, or Bar-B-Q stand to go to next! We danced with family ( White , Asian, Middle Eastern, ) all day long everyone was gracious, loving, warm, and wanted to hug you all day long!

We had a ball and cant wait till NEXT YEAR!

I try to be the most positive that I can be, but when it comes to my mother...I can only ask why? Why is it, that the person who brought me into this world has caused me the worst pain. I am a sensitive being with a hard shell but this wound I got, never seems to close and heal. No matter how much praying, meditation, or fasting I do, I am still very bruised from a very verbally abusive childhood. I grew with a mother who verbally told me on many occasions that she hated me and wished I was never born. I am her first born child and I have two younger brothers. My brothers are her babies, but me, in her words I am " vex to her spirit." I am now 29 with my own daughter, I'm at a lost with the emotional turmoil as I am raising her. What has happened when I was growing has affected my relationship with my child. With all the love and patience I got , the one person I most desired to be loved from has burned a hole in my soul. I've begged my mother to love me. I've begged her to tell me what I did. Also to forgive me and lets start brand new. To no avail.

This is to my YMIB Family....

I have not seen any new articles on the site in quite sometime? What's going on?

Hope all is well at the YMIB home base.

or until Jesus comes back...That's what my husband and I always tell each other. I can't imagine living life without him. I feel so secure in him and the love we share.

For a while now, I have been perturbed by this whole let's just get a "divorce thing" especially with "church" folks.

Yah can't work it out?

I stumbled across this article, "My marriage was a mistake". (Read More Here). I've also been watching investigative legal shows where spouses are killing the other spouse. WTH is wrong with people?

Irreconcilable differences or irrevocably broken is just code for "I'm a quitter" or "I'm too lazy or selfish to make my marriage work". Yes, I know there are exceptions to every rule and maybe this does not apply to you. If not, keep it pushing.

When I was a child, I burned my arm while playing near a kerosene heater at my paternal grandmother’s house. I was no more than four years old at the time, but I the evidence of the burn remains. It has grown with me on my left arm. My paternal grandmother had a similar scar. She once told me how she got it, but I have long since forgotten. In my mind, it was one of the many things that solidified our special bond. When I saw her in the hospital this summer, I looked for that scar in a semi-denial that the woman lying before me was my Gramma.

Today at 11:14 am it was exactly 21 years from the day i was born. i am almost forcing myself to shine. My friends and family wish me a great day and a great year but i can't help but feel indifferent. I know I'm still very young but when did a birthday change from unbridled excitement and joy to calm reflection and introspection. I feel as if I've crossed that barrier and i can't deny it any longer. I know exactly where the line was; it was between taking inventory of my gifts and taking inventory of my achievements. I wasn't forced to pass through it, there was no ceremony marking the event; i think i just walked into adulthood and didn't even notice.

Greetings YMIB Sistahs,

I wanted to share the wonderful event I experienced today. I participated in the annual MAAFA commemoration that takes place in New Orleans every first Saturday in July. The word Maafa (also known as the African Holocaust or Holocaust of Enslavement) is derived from a Swahili word meaning disaster, terrible occurrence or great tragedy.The term refers to the 500 years of suffering of Africans and the African diaspora, through slavery, imperialism, colonialism, invasion, oppression, dehumanization and exploitation. I had participated in the commemoration several years prior to the hurricane and this was my first after Katrina.

All participants dress in white and meet in Congo Square. Congo Square is the "sacred grounds" in New Orleans adjacent to the French Quarter. During slavery when our ancestors were given one day off on Sundays, they would meet in Congo Square to worship, dance, drum and fellowship in the ways that they had in the Motherland. There's a large and beautiful oak tree that's at least two century years old that still stands with numerous branches where many ceremonies are held.

Today, my daughter and I went for a walk around the neighborhood. We stopped at the park and I had the time of my life. I forgot what it was like to soar through the air on a swing or slide down on the slide. We then walked back home and I pulled out my bike. It's been a long time since I've ridden a bike. Again, I forgot what it was like to feel the wind blow through my hair.

I am so thankful for my little girl who loves being outdoors and always coaxes me out of the house. I appreciate our walks together. Not only is the time good for her, but it's good for me.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow.

Hey Sistahs,
I posted this on my other blog this morning and thought I would share part of it again here...Have a beautiful and powerful day!

Here are just a few words, thoughts that I wish to honor all of the Mamas in the world with...Every woman is or has been someone's mama. May we make offerings to all those walking Mama Shrines around us...may we lay flowers and pure water at their feet, fill their alms bowls with fresh fruit covered with honey and serve them sweet nectars... while we dance in the moonlight in honor of their life giving power and eternal sacrifice...
SistahGoddess
Artist, Mother and StarMedicineWoman
www.sistahgoddess.blogspot.com

I just finished re-reading Julie Dash's Daughters of the Dust. For those of you who are familiar with the movie, her novel picks the story up and introduces you to the next generation in addition to giving background information about characters from the movie. The book is extremely well written and takes you back to the Sea Islands and what life was like for our ancestors and elders. As a child of some Geechee folks but having never been to the islands (my great grandfather was the last of my folks to live there; he raised his family in Arkansas), revisiting this book was like talking with family that I hadn't seen in a long time. I felt homesick for something I'd never had and probably never will. It was truly bittersweet.

so happy today... my nephew was born today... and wonderful how everything comes together. went right in an the lil homie popped out... sweet... life is great... and this MAN (i can finally say that since he's a man not a fool) I'm interested in was inquiring about me... i found this out today. Good things come to those who wait! never had such a great monday!!!

I just want to share with this forum of sisterhood that I first learned TRUE sisterhood from you!

Even though I got on your nerves when we were little because I ALWAYS followed you around... I knew that I was in safe place because you always had my back.

To this day - you protect me - physically, spiritually and emotinally. So I just want to say thank you for:
*teaching me how to jump double dutch
*roller skating down the hallway in Cypress!
*cornrolling my hair until I feel asleep on your lap sucking my thumb
*teaching me how to cook breakfast because you was tired of me harrassing you in the morning
*teaching me how to do addition and subtraction on your owl calculator when I was 4
*meditating with me (you in Arizona and me in Florida)
*painting beautiful pictures for me
*giving me massages and pedicures
*giving me two beautiful nephews
*being ready to f*** somebody up on my behalf (LOL)
*LOVING ME!!
I'm sending you sniff sniff sugah! :)

I just want to share with this forum of sisterhood that I first learned TRUE sisterhood from you!

Even though I got on your nerves when we were little because I ALWAYS followed you around... I knew that I was in safe place because you always had my back.

To this day - you protect me - physically, spiritually and emotinally. So I just want to say thank you for:
*teaching me how to jump double dutch
*roller skating down the hallway in Cypress!
*cornrolling my hair until I feel asleep on your lap sucking my thumb
*teaching me how to cook breakfast because you was tired of me harrassing you in the morning
*teaching me how to do addition and subtraction on your owl calculator when I was 4
*meditating with me (you in Arizona and me in Florida)
*painting beautiful pictures for me
*giving me massages and pedicures
*giving me two beautiful nephews
*being ready to f*** somebody up on my behalf (LOL)
*LOVING ME!!
I'm sending you sniff sniff sugah! :)

I just want to share with this forum of sisterhood that I first learned TRUE sisterhood from you!

Even though I got on your nerves when we were little because I ALWAYS followed you around... I knew that I was in safe place because you always had my back.

To this day - you protect me - physically, spiritually and emotinally. So I just want to say thank you for:
*teaching me how to jump double dutch
*roller skating down the hallway in Cypress!
*cornrolling my hair until I feel asleep on your lap sucking my thumb
*teaching me how to cook breakfast because you was tired of me harrassing you in the morning
*teaching me how to do addition and subtraction on your owl calculator when I was 4
*meditating with me (you in Arizona and me in Florida)
*painting beautiful pictures for me
*giving me massages and pedicures
*giving me two beautiful nephews
*being ready to f*** somebody up on my behalf (LOL)
*LOVING ME!!
I'm sending you sniff sniff sugah! :)

These last weeks I've been running around organizing a babyshower for my sis-in-law (it was great fun we had a high tea sil had a great time and was extremely delighted), preparing for the arrival of my parents (next weekend) and inlisting our sons in new schools. The eldest will be finished with elementery school in June and will be attending grammer school as of next schoolyear. The mere thought of it makes my stomach act "rollercoastery" my baby will go to school all alone on his bike and he will not need me anymore (I know that is dramatic but it is how I feel!)

There comes a time in life when your age is nothing but a number. The chronological number that defines age is our evolution from an infant to an elder. To some this means years of wonderful life experiences. For others it is the yearly count down of the number of days alive on earth, which means “growing old”. Growing old is not the number that is associated with our age. It is the number of years we have lived experiencing the many lessons of life we have learned. The lessons that life teaches, is all about “growing up”.

When you travel through the cycle of life beginning with getting a feel at what being an adult is really all about (the 20+ age group); to accepting and facing the many life challenges (the 30+ age group); to defining and evaluating your life’s purpose (the 40+ age group); to reclaiming and redefining your life (the 50+ age group) to facing the golden years (60+ and beyond age group) is all about playing the game of life.

sorry

Njideka N. Olatunde “Prosperity Diva”

We have entered into a time of transition in which old financial structures are collapsing as better ones are put in their place. For many, this transition period will be one of hardship and for others the changes will be wonderful. In reality, this transition is about changing our relationship with money. We are witnessing the changes in the drop in real estate prices, inflation that makes the dollar buy less, rising fuel prices and even less affordable health care. The question we ask daily “How can a person prepare for these changes to live securely and comfortably”?

WHAT IS MONEY?

Tears blended with global warming-induced LA rain
as I lined my Dad up as I usually do on Sundays
our only bonding time together
Except on this unusually cold and dark day in the 'hood
things were different
My Dad just looked me in the eyes and confessed
that he's hit my Mom before
when I asked him straight out
I've seen it all before
but have mastered the art of forgetting
Yet how can I forget truth told through eyes of tears
Dad's packing up for another lonely night
at the local Travelodge
where the night before he lost sleep
stayed up writing Mom a letter she later burned
You see, my Mom's anger provokes my Dad
to the point that he throws her off the bed
knocking her out unconscious
So Mom kicks his ass out
My Dad left with nowhere to go
a broken family has no open doors
I reach out to him for once
Never had a relationship with Pops before
But as I get older I realize they're all I got
No matter what he does
He's blood
Can't turn my back on the man who gave me life
Love my Mom, I got her back
But I know the wrath that packs heavy blows
Dad's got problems he's willing to face
Can't help but join the fight
to preserve all that's left

A few weeks ago I was a guest at the EnSOUL HEALth revolution Show.
http://www.thehealthrevolutionshow.co.uk/ , and during the interview we started to discuss family relationships. Now I have had challenges in the past with my family and my mother so I was able to talk about my journey, especially as I am the youngest member of my family . The challenges became more prevalent when I decided to 'know thyself' and such was our 'separation anxiety' that the relationship started to deteriorate and become volatile.

During my search I started a Celestine Prophecy study group where I began learning about energy exchange and families. Through this work I was able to change our dynamic and HEAL our relationship without even speaking and talking to my mother about this. The only statement I made was to tell her that 'this is who I AM' calmly without conviction. Wow! Now our relationship is blessed and we have a mutual understanding, although not without its own challenges from time to time ,but now I have a very sweet, caring and knowledgeable mother, and a friend yes my mother is a woman born ahead of her time. I thank the Creator for the restoration of our relationship.

Along my journey of finding self, I have embarked on numerous journeys. I went natural, changed my families eating habits, phasing out processed foods. I began to study our history. Started educating my children more about our magnificent roots, and became active in many organizations.

I have learned many things, and I am quite proud of the things I have accomplished. But at the end of the day, I realized that I am still not balanced.

I was tired every morning, drained of energy all day. I really had nothing left to give my family, or myself. When I looked in the mirror I saw a shell of what I used to be. I then realized I wasn't feelin' me. I was what I like to call "skinny-fat".

I think that many times we do everything we can for our families, giving our all to be left with zip for ourselves. I have now decided to do something for me, because the more we love ourselves the more love we can give to our children, husbands, families, and friends.

Our little one turned four years old a couple of weekends ago, and I must say, that although it brings me great joy to see him sprout into a little man, it also brings along all sorts of different emotions for me. Our Nubian boys & men in todays world are many of times faced with so many challenges, and although I know that we, within our home and within our surroundings will try our best to keep him around positivity and simplicity, I know that one day he will have to encounter the negative energies that reside in the world. Emotional butterflies flutter in my belly sometimes as I think of all the possibilities that he could be faced with, and I only hope and visualize that he will maintain the guidance of his parents, and the protection of his ancestors, that we try to keep him enriched with. Do any of you feel the same way as you see your seeds grow?