I finally did it!! I moved and we r still not quite done, we do have our necessary stuff beds, kitchen items, bathroom items ya no etc etc. Its very peaceful and quite unless me and the children are acting crazy or the music is blasting lol. I can be free to be me in this house, I can be free to continue my journey for the self and make important changes that will covet me for the rest of my time here. Its a 5 bedroom bungalow and we have the upstairs. One room is our bedroom and the other is my creativity room, yoga, meditation, chill haha u name it room, with a half bathroom in the middle. Now downstairs is my step daughters bedroom, the full bathroom, door to the basement in that lil hallway. Through the kitchen there is my sons bedroom. In the living room there is another room that could've been made into a den but we gave it to the children and made it their TV room, library, play room to entertain their guest. We call that room the Chill Room. Its alot of room in this house and the sound proof is great because its an old house u don't even know if someone is home until u come out of one of the rooms and happen to run into one each other.
Moving was something I went through alot growing up and I still get scattered in the process. I enjoy a certain organized routine meaning I like to know where my paperwork is and that the internet is working(yes new age crazy addict lolol) so that I can get my work done and when I move I feel overwhelmed and mentally drained. I enjoy the starting over process that chance to make it right with yourself and a chance to feel that independence again. I am looking forward to what me and my family learn through this process which allows us to see each other in our own eyes. I am looking forward to seeing how far my career will take off, looking forward to seeing my 2 10 year olds first everything and how I can be of some help by sharing information and listening more and loving them equally but excepting their differences. This has really allowed me to grow more as a mother, friend, lover,girlfriend,every hat we as women wear, defeating my fears and facing the truth head on. No I am not perfect by any means nor do I think my shit don't stink but anybody who knows me no that I have come a long way and the blessing is that it didn't take long for me to get some things in me right and come to an overstanding that I am who I am and in that I have to be happy and loving to me. I no that whatever happens in this house and the next house or the next on this journey it was a journey well suited for me. It is a journey I can handle and even when i feel I can't communication is so important and whatever comes of it (togetherness or split) I will be alright. I have learned a great deal from this journey and there is a movement in me that cannot be destroyed. They say watch the beast and be careful how u feed the beast because it has an outrageous appetite. Man taming that beast is a mutha##% and I am truly blessed that along the way I have met some wonderful power house people that looked into my soul and listened to me, allowed me to be free while feeding me the ripe fruit of the tree of life and here I am now I stand so much more intuned with myself. I stand so more stronger and wiser. I stand so much more free to express love to others and still seek truth, while still humbling myself as a student. In this house this our time to be observant of the many miracles around us and embrace them with an open heart. See I am not by myself anymore and that was one of the beast I had to tame and allow its fire to burn out. I had to put in place of that feeling of being contained and imprisoned with connecting more with the children. Seek the children to not only find happiness but to help me heal from alot of past pain of being the conflicted child. I had to allow that child in me to know she can be loved and cherished and free. Its still a work in progress but its not to the point where I will repeat certain unhealthy patterns in my space anymore and I don't have to have a crash course session to get it together either. A few smacks on the bottom, and maybe i'll hit my head and i'll bump my leg on something it hurts but I don't have to feel like I am not going to survive. lololol peace and love to u all i will keep u updated on the goings on, and thank u for reading and ur feedback.