ymib.com - Daily Inspiration

ditto...

...to all other comments! I encourage you to see yourself and her with new eyes as you walk away...knowing that you both are growing at different paces...making different choices...bless you!

Let it go

freespirit200837
I to had a similar situation, this young lady had been my friend since kindergarten. We grew up in the same neighborhood, our families knew one another. We separated for a few years in grammer school but end up finding our way back to one another. Long story short, looking back on our childhood and remembering a lot of the happening that went on between us, I can honestly say that she was not a true friend. She too had a lot of negative energy and it seem to be toward me? During that time I didn't realize it, to me she was truely my best friend, I loved her like a sister. Other people around me seem to notice that she was not good people and tried to warn me. I was so into her as a friend I just over looked a lot of the negative remarks, the criticism and the fact that she would leave me out of a lot of activities growing up. When she had her first child I catered to him I baby sat while she went out with "other" friends. I was truely nieave. After highschool we kind of separated but she was never too far from my mind. Again we manage to come into contact again this time we moved to another state together and was roommates. This is when I found out how much of a friend she really was. She had female cousin that lived in this particular state and as soon as we land all the negativity starts to come out. We were not in our apt. a week before one of her cousin moves in with her child. All of a sudden negative comment started to fly from both direction. This one particular night everything just came out to open. I was basically told that I was not her best friend and that I was just the friend that did what was needed. Wow talk about a wake up call. Needless to say I moved back home with my head tucked between my legs extremely hurt. Years passed again we meet up again, she actually lived down the street from me. She was in the process of leaving her then husband, she needed a new apartment and just so happen my then husband was a building manager right off the back he said no, w hy because "her energy level was to negative" he did not want her around. Eight years passed after that I send a X-mas card to her mom and yes we find our ways back to one another. Now after 20 yrs you would think that maybe some of that negative energy would have subsided, no during our first conversation in 8 years again it was all about her, and this and that. Needless to say after being on the phone with her with seemed like forever, I vowed to myself never to place my self in her negative energy again. It been hard because in my mind and heart once a friend, always a friend. Sometimes you just have to let go for your own peace of mind.

Sorry if this was to long:)

healing words.......

yes i am learning to fully accept that we both have different river flows..we walked together for years as fellowship......but now we i must go my way the only right way i feel in my gut...her heaviness is not my burden anymore ......its for her to learn, grow, and muliply in her flight of higher self.....thank you for your gracious light......peace & hugs!!

I feel your pain...

Sista Love,

I too had/have a relationship like that. Mine started in high school and my "friend" was in the class below mine about a year younger than me. We kept in touch over the years; our backgrounds were similar only in that we were both raised up North, but other than that we had little in common. What kept us so close was that she as I are very giving people and love to laugh. We enjoy giving of our time and space, and making a joke out of anytihng. Over time we drifted apart, but only because I was away at college and she was wrapped up in her partner.
Make a long story short she has been in an unhealthy relationship with the father of her sons, and as a result suffers (I believe) from serious depression. Her eldest son is my godson and for the first 5 years of his life he was like my child. She never neglects her children, but I was a big part of their early up bringing. When an opportunity posed itself for me to move 250 miles away to pursue my career and further my education instead of being happy for me she immediately became distant and negative towards me. She told my godson that I was leaving him...who was going to help her take care of her kids...Not the kind of reaction a real friend would give.
Since then (almost 3 yrs ago) we barely talk, when I go back home it's nearly impossible to see the kids, when I see her and how my godson is being raised I see that he is picking up on the habits of his father and their ghetto mentality.
Although it pains me, I cannot consider her part of my inner circle any longer. I have tried to counsel, listen, expose and encourage her to no avail. So as not to drain my own spirit, I had to stop pursuing the original closeness we once had and accept the current state of our "relationship" or lack thereof.
In answer to your question: Friend or Foe? I would say neither. Accepting is the first part of healing in my book.

Blessings Onto You.