I had the opportunity to chat with the lovely Kim Fields who we all now as Tootie from "The Facts of Life" and the diva Regine of "Living Single", a show in which I consider to be the original "Girlfriends". Kim took out the time to share some really solid wisdom on motherhood, relationships, dreams, and daily inspiration, all while holding her little Sebastian in her arms! I hope this interview inspires you all as much as it did me...Enjoy!

ymib: Favorite affirmation or inspirational quote?

Kim: Well of course being a spiritual family I look to the scriptures all of the time. So of course there are plenty of Psalms and Proverbs. I do have a quote that a friend of mine named Fareed said once and I keep saying that I am going to put it on a t-shirt one day because it teaches me a lot as a mom, and as a director. The quote is: “The team who wins is the team who makes the best adjustments in real time.”

You know time does not stop and me being a sports fan I always think about if you are down several points, the coach has to make adjustments like changing certain players or changing a play that they were about to call. They are making those adjustments in real time as opposed to looking at it and doing the same thing over again. When you let the clock run out and take a loss; then you are left stuck trying to figure out after the fact what could have been done differently to win the game.

ymib: What are some of your goals with being a mother and what do you think that you will learn about yourself through motherhood?

Kim: I have so many goals as a mom. My first and foremost goal is making sure that he knows God and that he is aware of how God has richly blessed him. Also to know how blessed he is to have the things that we tend to take for granted, like our senses and our health and for praying parents and grandparents. We want to be the kind of responsible parents that exposes our child to everything positive that this world has to offer culturally, artistically, and academically. I want to be sure that I encourage him, to counsel him, and to support him.

I want him to know that there is such a way to treat a woman, and not just the one that he plans to marry, but how to deal with women in general and everyday people. Sometimes I think it is a lost art of how to have integrity with whatever it is that you are doing. So, I want him to know that with whatever it is that he does...to do it with integrity. Those are the things that I want him to know.

ymib: Where and/or how do you usually find creative inspiration?

Kim: Creativity to me is an outlet. Outlets are important in figuring yourself out through a lot of negative elements that may be going on in your life. My mom(Chip Fields) completed a monsterous project called The Bible Experience, where the complete bible is read and performed by actors and actress and clergy from all over including: Cuba Gooding Jr, Sanaa Lathan, Nia Long, Denzel Washington, Angie Stone, Common, Ruby Dee, Regina Hall, and the list goes on and on making up 80 cast members. It was such a creative inspiration to me and a creative way to get people to learn about the bible. I think everyone is blessed to be creative, it is all just in how you cultivate it. Creativity reaches people in the most intimate places of their being and to be able to reach people there is just incredible.

ymib: You wrote a limited edition book for both men and women to read...Overall, what did you hope for your book to achieve with it's readers?

Kim: First of all the fact that it is a collection of fictional short stories. Entertainment is always my main priority with most of the things that I do because I feel that is where a lot of my gifts and talents are and what I have been blessed to do. After giving something to someone to laugh at and be entertained with I would hope that people will recognize themselves within these stories and with the characters. It may be people that they know that it reminds them of; and I hope it would encourage them to make some adjustments to change how they interact with the opposite sex, so that it is not malicious.

"And my definition of a bad woman, so to speak, are those women who are the gold diggers, women who from out the gate they’ve got malice in their heart, women who use their children as if they’re pieces in a chess game in a divorce, women who will out right lie and steal. She makes it difficult for the good women." ~Kim Fields

ymib: If you could go back in the past and ask someone a question, who would it be and what would you ask?

Kim: There have been different people that have inspired me in many different ways. From a womans standpoint and from a mom standpoint I think I would like to meet Jackie Kennedy when she was a mom and such a helper to her husband with the traveling and putting things together for his campaign and trying to make the white house a home. Those things are not easy when you are in the public eye & I would probably like to sit down with her to talk about some of those things.

As an actress and thankfully she is still with us, and a family friend, I would love to sit at the foot of Ruby Dee. Again I would love to talk with her about how she was such a positive partner to her husband all while maintaining her own identity. As a Director I would like to go back and meet Alfred Hitchcock, Billy Wilder, and George Stevens. They are probably some of my favorite directors. I would ask them things like why did you put the camera there or why did you direct the actors to say the line this way.

ymib: What inspired you within your life to wear your hair natural, and would you say your lifestyle reflects a more natural way of living?

Kim: My hair was a process but not in the way that most people would think. I want to be clear on that because I think people have this perception that the way you wear your hair, and if it is natural then they think oh you must be a vegan or all of the things that make you “earthy” so to speak. For me I don't think that there is any wrong or right way to lead your journey and for me it really just started out as part of my reinventing myself. I have had to reinvent myself time and time again in order to promote longevity in this business. I had already started lightning my hair while I was doing the last seasons of Living Single and when I finished the show I wanted to do something different. I always loved locs and how they looked and I knew that that was a spot on my journey that I had not been to. So, that is how it started. I cannot say that it was from a vanity standpoint as much as it was from a reinventing standpoint.

ymib: What advice would you give to mothers about being a new mother and being in a marriage?

Kim: You have to stay prayed up! You also have to stay in some kind of constant communication with the one who gives you the power. God gives you the power to be understanding, the power to be quiet, the power to speak up and say the right thing at the right time. The power to have strength when you are doing the overnight feedings and still have to get up and go to work and function and have everything make sense.

The transitions that you face as a couple, you have to not let the parenting take over your relationship and remember to remind yourselves that "I am still a wife" and "I am still a husband". So, you have to stay in that type of communication with each other.

Another piece of advice is to be careful who you talk to and who you seek counsel from. Some of your friends don't know anything about what you are going through. Be careful who you talk to because many times they do not have the wisdom on how to counsel you directly for your situation. You may be dealing with people who are jealous, folks who just don't understand, and all kinds of things that can get in the way of wise counsel. They may try to counsel you because they are really trying to solve their situation, which many times is totally different from yours. So be careful in who you get your wisdom from!

ymib: How do you nurture your spirit, your health, your mind, and your beauty...any favorite regimens/rituals, products, etc.?

Kim: Well first of all I acknowledge that it is constant work . You have to work at having balance. You have to work at what things you will allow into your spirit. You have to be aware of what things you will only let into your spirit for short periods of time, and what things are residence to your soul. So for me, I nurture my spirit and beauty by doing all of that mental work. I am constantly doing the work of maintaining my sanity because there are certain things that are not an option for me. For example, it is not an option for me to become an alcoholic or for me to do drugs, or indulge in too many comfort foods.

A friend of mine would always tell me to keep my balance, and that is part of the work for me. I keep my balance through prayer, prayer, prayer...I talk to God on a regular basis throughout the day. I also listen to different types of music that helps me deal with whatever I'm feeling and I also love to read. I love to read novels because it is a great escape for me, and I love going to the movies. Those are the things that I do, and you know sometimes the most basic things help me get through it such as: getting a kiss on the forehead from my husband, or have him rub my head or my back, or kissing my sons feet.

ymib: How do you feel about your journey in life thus far and do you think that you would change anything in the past if you could?

Kim: Sometimes people hesitate to answer that question because it would imply that they regret something but there are always things that you would go back and do differently after you have learned and grown a bit older. You just have to learn from your mistakes.

ymib: What has been one of the biggest lessons that you have learned from your mother and father?

Kim: With my Dad. You know my mom re-married when I was about 25 and I call my step-dad my dad. When that happened I thought "oh this is great and he and my mom are going to have a great life and they are going to care for each other", and with me being 25 I did not think I was going to benefit from it. However, being able to have that real daughter and father relationship with my moms husband has been fantastic.

Something that my dad does when he gets home, no matter how tired he is, is that he always goes through the mail. Now that may seem like something that is trivial or like "so what", but most people know how it is when they have mail that has piled up on them and they can't figure out when this bill is due, and they have not organized it and that kind of thing. I watched my dad stay on top of that sort of clutter that can bombard our lives. It is important to keep organized especially when you are a busy person. It's funny, because you have people who in the office everything is working like a well oiled machine, but in their household, everything is running like hell on wheels!

From my mom, there were two lessons that stick out. She taught me never to be intimated. That lesson came up when I had auditioned for the Miss. Buttersworth commercial and Janet Jackson was in the room auditioning as well. I was like "oh I am never going to get this". I thought I would never get it next to Janet Jackson and my mom was like "don't ever let anyone intimidate you and do your best", and I did end up getting the job! Another thing that my mom would tell me is that "you can start at 100%", and she would take her hand and hold it above her head, "and everything that you do and say and how you act will either contribute to you staying at 100% or it will chip away from you", and she would bring her hand down in increments.

ymib: We know that you love all things jazz...with that said, currently, what are some of your top jazz albums/cds that you love?

Kim: I like listening to The Monk Trane Project that Blue Note put out. I actually did the documentary that is on the cd. Smooth jazz wise I am always a Najee fan and he is one of my dearest friends. I also love Chris Boti and Kirk Whalum.

ymib: What books would we find on your bookshelf?

Kim: Currently I'm reading The Power of a Praying Wife. Magazine wise, I like Vanity Fair. Novel wise I love Pat Conroy and historical fiction.

ymib: Tell us something that you would like for all of the Circle Sisters to know and carry with them?

Kim: I would like for them to know that no matter what hat you wear at any given moment, give it your best, and if you feel that you don't have the strength, or the power, or the courage, or the inspiration to give it your best...then ask for it. Ask for that strength, ask for that power, and ask for that courage, and God will absolutely give it to you. Just give it your best!