On 2-8-08, I awoke to some abdominal pains and called my doula (birthing coach), Sarah. I described the pains and that I think my water sac had broken because I kept feeling the urge to urinate every 10-15 min. Sarah confirmed that labor had begun and encouraged me to distract myself and be prepared for hours of inconsistent pain but to monitor the pains for their proximity and keep her informed. No problem. The pains were bearable, so I watched tv. I've always had string menstrual pains and this was similar in intensity. Then my OB’s office called to confirm my Mon. appt. if I did not deliver that weekend. When I told the nurse I think early labor had started she offered for me to come into the office for a resting monitor to track my contractions. So at 1pm we did that. Nothing to be alarmed about. Contractions were barely registering. I had one small one during the 15 min session. I asked the doctor to check to make sure my water hadn’t broken because I was leaking fluid. She thought this was unlikely but checked as a precaution. To everyone’s surprise I was almost 5cm dilated! We were instructed to proceed to the hospital and she would meet us later. Thankfully, my husband thought it was a good idea to bring along our bag and the baby bag to the appt just in case although I was sure we would be sent home to wait some more. On the way to the hospital I made my husband stop to get something to eat because I had heard you can't eat once you get there. I never understood why and my doula explained its not necessary but just in case you need a emergency c-section you need an empty stomach. So instead of getting you stomach pumped they just don't let you eat. Well, I know when my blood sugar drops I am not nice to be around so I felt a meal was in everyone's best interest. We settled into the hospital and after about an hour the nurses checked me, I was 6-7cm.

I had created a birth plan in advance and really had my heart set on a natural delivery (no epidural). So, I did all types of relaxation techniques with the help of my doula (birthing ball, hot shower, pressure points). Sarah was awesome and I lucked up with a great nurse, Eileen, who supported my desire for a natural delivery. Everyone kept emphasizing how well I was taking the contractions. I survived by eating ice chips and focusing through the contractions. I didn’t really count but I knew they would last about a minute and sort of visualized going through a tunnel and knowing there was an exit on the other end. Once I got to 8cm about 2 hours later (I had no concept of time) things stalled for a while. The pain level increased and I tried various positions but lying down was not comfortable. I threw up a few times during this phase. After about 2 more hours and not much change in the cervix I agreed to have my water broken to expedite things and I was told that if I did not progress to 10cm withing the hour that I would need to have pitocin to speed up things. I wanted to avoid that after hearing of how that drug intensifies the pain and frequency of the contractions. So I opted to get back in the shower. By this time I was having extreme pressure and suffering from exhaustion (approx 10pm). I was so tired I would catch 2-3 minute naps in between the waves of pain. I would be so out of it I would forget I was in labor until the next contraction awakened me. My husband was there cheering me on and asking “It is unbearable? You ready to get out the shower?” with every pang. To which I would nod or grimace or ignore him. I’m sure he felt helpless. But I didn’t know how he could help me either. I could have had Sarah there but I wanted him to witness and feel involved. After about 30 minutes in the shower the extreme pressure (think the worst constipation possible) I was checked again. I had finally reached full dilation and was instructed on the correct way to push. Easier said than done. The position and instructions are unnatural and awkward. It was intense and excruciating. How can you have the the energy to hold your own legs up when you feel like you are being split in half? Anyone seen the movie "Baby Mama" when Amy Poehler's character goes into labor and they are wheeling her in and she is screaming obscenities.... she says, "Ahhh, I feel like I'm sh*tting a knife!" That's vulgar, but its the most accurate description I've heard yet.

After about an hour of pushing (again, I was told the time because I was in a vacuum) at 11:23pm or 23:23 military time, there SHE was. A nameless baby girl. Wriggling and sprawling… My husband says she was dancing. My eyes were full of tears so I cannot verify this but I know she danced her way in to hearts immediately.

The Grace of God is what helped me deliver that 7lb, 15oz (20.75" long) baby without drugs and he deserved some credit for that. So we named her Corinne Grace. My middle name is Faith so I thought it was appropriate.

I do not regret a drugless birth. The thought of not being able to walk around and possibly needing a catheter wasn't appealing and I hate needles. If and when I choose to have another child I plan to go to a birthing center and have a water birth. I believe as women we are equipped with the tools to give birth without the introduction of paralyzing drugs. I do not have a high thresh hold for pain. Those that know me doubted I would be able to have a natural birth. I was open to the possibility that I wouldn't be able to do it without drugs and was ok with that. But I wanted to try and I did it. I am proud of myself. But I knew I had options. You never know what its going to be like until you are in the moment. So accept it for what it is and know that women have been doing this for many years and you can do it too.