I ask this question because...well..I am always questioning myself. Is there something wrong with me that I'd rather teach art to a group of kids rather than in a university setting? After all, I AM in a graduate program being trained to do just that. Is there something wrong with me because I would rather pick through fashion magazines rather than "real" art mags? Where does my true passion lie, I ask myself. Art is me. But not in the way that it seems other artists take it. Am I not as passionate as I should be? Why am I bored with it? Am I bored with it? What part? Academia. Being required to read philosophy in order to be taken seriously. Being required to know about eevvveerrrryyyybody in order to be taken seriously. It's exhausting and I am not passionate about that part. I want to change peoples lives. Young lives. So again, is there something wrong with me? Something wrong that I'd rather read beauty reviews and makeup art than works of fine artists? I am jaded. I know that. I feel jaded because I know that the artworld has little to do with talent and much to do with how creative you are in setting yourself up to be seen. I want to inspire children. I want to break it down for them.
So how do I survive in the environment I am in currently? One more year. One more long....taxing...year. I can do this. It won't be pretty.

I took this personality quiz on facebook today ---and though I normally do them strictly for entertainment, this one was so on point. I am described as a Healer. Introspective, intuitive, feeling, perceptive.
Interested in giving meaning to life through service. Cares about ethical and moral issues, making a contribution to a greater goal. Imaginative and contemplative, adept at exploring intellectual topics.

i know i must do what i need to do to stay informed, i know that. but i can't lose focus. i want to place value on art. i want kids to know that it's not a matter of "practicality" because it is just as important, if not more, as any other area of interest.
i guess im just uninspired right now when it comes to proving myself in academia.