baby...
we got that...
nacho love..
how? you may ask...
Cuz I am not yo love!
BOOOOOOO YOW!!

You held me in your arms...
i felt so safe and warm
soothing my mind
like hot chocolate soothes my
taste buds.
i am welcoming to this
friendship turned love
each and every moment
is filled with
memories full of
the fresh scent of gain
i feel cleansed
and renewed..
then the day that i found that it was you
you, being the one who
God made just for me..
*inhale, exhale*
I can remember
way. back. when...
we used to laugh, and hang out on the corner
we was best friends
but now..
we are more...
it just feels right. ..
you know..
like the something that you been
searching for your whole life
has been there...
your whole life
in amazement
by all this love
all this time...
it was worth all the frogs
kissed that never turned into princes
cuz you were my prince all along.
you have been there wth me
through everything.
our love was conceived that
day we met.
and our love seed has been incubated
in God's hands for years.
and now we are ready to give birth to this love
I was presented b4 you
as the me whom you would
love as Christ loves the church..
it was written.
destined that..
our love... this love
would grow into what it is now..

a breath of fresh air
opening my rainy skies
to receive the light
your light.
you.. carry me through all the hard times
and its hard for me not to love you
see.. even in the beginning of this...
you had me.
and though, we didnt start out as...
more,
you had me
you appeal to my senses..
your giving heart...
your creative mind...
you...had... me...
and through our ins and outs...
you still have me
see,
my ears crave your voice...
my skin yearns for your touch...
and my heart...
is filled with so much love for you.

iLoveyou
yeah this is true
see, I couldnt imagine it before
but...
Ev-er-y time you walk through that door..
does something to me.
You are like a multi vitamin..
you have everything I need.
more than I ever wanted...
more than I could dream
its like when I least expected it,
you somehow found me
tapped me on my shoulder
and said, "You got me straight trippin' boo"
and overtime... undertime.. within time...
Love... whispered your name in my ear..
Love... painted your picture in my head..
Love.. wrote your name on my heart..
and from then on..
I knew that.. this was something different.
See, love slipped from my lips previous times
with previous cats..
but this right here...
This right HERE..
aint none of that.
You court me
and woo me
and I cant wait til you
shoop shoop me..
thus us forming one be-ing.
with us being one..
then the deepest that our love flows
will have begun..
iLoveyou...
you Love me..
Us standing firmly together
on God's word in God's love...
together we breathe
together we shall be
One

i want to scream...
to the top of my lungs..
see. there is this guy..
and..
he. gets. on. my. last. nerves.
thoughts of him leave
my skin itching, crawling..
Irritated.. and red.
he is an annoyance
to my life and
I... wish..
I wish...
I wish he woud GO away..
like FAR FAR away...
How obvious does one have to be...
Oy vey

i want to scream...
to the top of my lungs..
see. there is this guy..
and..
he. gets. on. my. last. nerves.
thoughts of him leave
my skin itching, crawling..
Irritated.. and red.
he is an annoyance
to my life and
I... wish..
I wish...
I wish he woud GO away..
like FAR FAR away...
How obvious does one have to be...
Oy vey

I want you to know me in the biblical sense.
cause knowing me biblically
means knowing me spiritually
and when we combine as one
we are spiritually linked
love so deep
it transcends
all physicality
nurturing all
mentalities...
cuz you. make. me. think.
my love flocks to you
like a moth to a flame
you intrigue me
inside
and outside
upside
and downside
So yes, I want you to know me in the Biblical Sense
I feel you deserve all.. of.. this..
me.. in every sense of the matter.
You lead me to feel
you. The you..who God created you to be.
You are my brotha.
My friend.
My teacher.
My go-to man.
My King.
I name you my King
cuz you're the King
to my Queen.
and I cherish you.
Standing side by side,
but knowing when to let. you. take. lead.
I want you to know me in the Biblical Sense
Feeding my spirit, my mind, my heart
with love, heaven sent.
So love, my love...
know. me. in. the. Biblical. Sense.

it was like
we knew each other from another life
you were me, I was you
we were creation
no need for explanation
love transfered
when your breath
reached mines
and we were made anew
one
being.
our eyes seeing each others souls
accepting our pasts
but looking forward to our
new found future together
love
in a past life
you were my best friend
I remember it like it was yesterday
you filled my spirit with
so much laughter
then you went away
and here
right now
in this moment
we are together
lvoing each other
just like it was written
in our destinies
time went on
but you were always in my heart
i carried you
thru the good
the bad
and sho nuff the ugly
cuz our love
inspired
beauty to emerge
beings combined
becuz of us
and thru time
i met him
you met her
and they were them
neither was us
they were filled with
heartfelt lust
so they left
i cried
you moved on
but here
in the now
it is us
love
not lust
love
cuz we trust
i give
you give
Love.
Love.
Love.
is.
here.

there are times
when
looking into your eyes
i start to cry
cuz its a dream
its all a dream
that you are here
loving me
the way you are loving me
cuz things like this
just dont happen to me
and most days i feel unworthy
but here you are
and here I am
and this is real...
isnt it?
see, Ive been thru these motions before
and I swore..
I would never open that door...
again
but here you are..
and here I am..
loving..
almost fearful of..
how this could end
cuz I dont want it to end
U introduced me..
to me..
loving all parts of me
wholly.
the ins and outs
the ups and downs
u.. stayed here
by my side.
U befriended me
comforted me
in my midnight hour
you..
its funny cuz
right when i was saying
im done.
Im taking a break..
Im not looking anymore..
you appeared in my door
moving me mentally
challenging me spiritually
and loving me completely
but it all feels like a dream
it does..
I go to sleep and I pray that you stay
I pray that you are real
I pray you are true.
And when I wake up..
I thank God that it is you..
and that this is real
and that you are my reality
altho this feels just like a dream.

I am a woman,
a such lady..
and you..and you, and yes even you
will respect me.
You will respect me
because I,
A Queen in
my own right,
said so.
And I will not
tolerate
you..
treating me like
yo hoe
Cuz honey chile,
I am so much more.
Ive told you once,
Ive told you twice,
three is a charm
so here is the thrice
and this time boo boo
you better get it right.
I am a Woman,
beautiful and kind,
sweet with my own design
take me in like fine exotic wine...
cherish me cuz
I am a rare kind
I'll open your mind
to horizons of
all kinds...
So resepct me..
Re...spect..
ME
cuz I'll respect you..
cuz you're my brotha-man
and I am youre woman,
maaaaaan
and we are to intertwine as such
so we can unwind
and find
a true meaning to us...
So respect me..
Re-Spect ME
And I dont wanna have to tell you again.

it is inevitable,
cuz the reality
my reality is..
that I love you...
and I hate that I love you.
I dream to wake up
and realize that you were just
an evil nightmare
taunting me with
dissatisfaction
cuz i knowing what I know
now...
I want to wish upon a star
that you
and I
never were...
Cuz loving you..
hurts..too..damn... much
but, alas
here
me
you
and you dont even care
you dont even care to care..
but Im stuck
in this fraction of living
loving..
you.

so far on his journey to healthy and wellness i have noticed that it is mind over matter. saturday night i had a small breakdown. somethings were going on in my life and i got me some bread and peanut butter and jelly and went at it. then i was up all night. but luckily i turned things around on sunday. i ate a good breakfast, some lunch and cooked me a good healthy dinner. I thank you all for your support.
today I got on the scale, and to my surprise I lost 2.2 pounds. how I did it, i dont know cuz I only worked out twice since my start. but I guess me drinking more water and adding more fiber and protein to my eating helped some. altho its only 2 pounds, i am encouraged even more.
I was lookin at something online where a doctor was saying its not so much weight loss, its about body fat loss. so how do you lose body fat...?? what foods can i incorporate in my eating to help me do that??

much love,

Jenny

Well Today, I officially started my journey kick off. I went to the grocery store to get some food and surprisingly, I got healthy food. and I spent way more than I wanted to but hey, its all in the name of being healthy. I cooked today and drank more water. I also did a mini workout. like a 10 min cardio routine. and oh how the sweat came upon my face. I liked it. I think I need to work on my breathing while doing these workouts. I dont wanna be winded. But I guess I will get better with breathing the more I do it. But I feel good about today. Tomorrow, I plan to go find somewhere to walk. maybe do 30 mins.
from the grocery store I got good stuff. I got grape fruit, nectarines, apples, carrots, asparagus, and other healthy foods. Im really excited. hopefully next wednesday I will have some weight loss results. wish me luck. Im really excited.

oh I am also documenting my weightloss journey on youtube. check it out!

peace and love,

Jenny

so, I have naturally curly hair, and I have no idea what to do with it.
I mean it looks nice. but it gets soo frizzy and dry at times and too much oil makes it heavy. I just do not know what to do with my hair. also what other hairstyles can i do besides wearing it down and all over my head? I have tight curls and the frizz is a mess.

Can someone please give me some tips and product to use?? I need some help.

Thanks!

Jenny

Well.. Im back at it again. After many failed attempts at weight loss, im yet trying again. cuz if at first you dont succeed, try try again. I am going to be committed to it. I think I have figured out why I have failed so many times. Its ME. Tho I want to lose the weight, I wasnt ready to do what it take to actually get the weight off. Sure I eat apples and tuna, but I just didnt want to exercise on a regular basis. So I am my own failure. :( but I will not let that get me down. Tomorrow is a bright and brand new day.

Well.. Im back at it again. After many failed attempts at weight loss, im yet trying again. cuz if at first you dont succeed, try try again. I am going to be committed to it. I think I have figured out why I have failed so many times. Its ME. Tho I want to lose the weight, I wasnt ready to do what it take to actually get the weight off. Sure I eat apples and tuna, but I just didnt want to exercise on a regular basis. So I am my own failure. :( but I will not let that get me down. Tomorrow is a bright and brand new day.

I love you,
but you get on my nerves,
you dont listen,
you always busy,
you walk around like your ish..dont.. stink.
but,
I love you.
We fuss and fight,
break up to make up
and I..
wouldnt have it any other way
I would never go...
astray
cuz I love you
Love brings me back
brings you back
brings us back to
strength, courage, wisdom...
We endure, and endure, and endure
then love, and love, and make love
cause at the end of the day...
after all the foolishness is out the way
all that is left,
all that we have..
is...
Looooooove...
I love you.

I'm in love.
A new love like
A new life.
A new beginning.
You came in..
when I let it all go
When I released the pain.
When I walked away.
So in the moment.
I smile..
not with just my face and my eyes,
but my heart
my hands, my ears, my toes
my elbows.
I smile
all over.
mind body soul
These moments,
the minutes,
the seconds...
lead to hours,
days,
months,
years...
love.
filled with love
abundantly.
no doubt, it had to come from our Father
from above
He connected us
combined us
intertwined us
then he rewinds us.
Love... never failing.
always patient.
filling up my spirit.
I am in love.
and this time it is reeeeeeaaaaal.

(read to the beat of Mary J. Blige's "Stronger")

You had me..
yeah... you did
I must admit
I was your fool
you friend
your independent freak a leak
All you had to do was...
"Just call my name... and I'll come running..."
And I did.
I thought you was worth all of it.
Oh give him time, he will come around,
then he will be all mine..
HA
Just another Lie
but I tried
then I cried...
now I laugh
Cause in all that nonsense..
those foolish ways of mines
I was real with you,
I...
gave..
you...
pieces of me that..
only one has seen..
But you were too blind to see the full picture...
or was that me.
See you intentions...
displayed upfront,
but I thought, naw, he would never do that to me
He would see me in all I am and could be...
but you..
to you.. i
was just some meat.
a toy for your explorative exploitation
and I allowed myself to be that
for you...
but you didnt want more,
couldnt see more in me
no matter how much i begged you to open your eyes...
still blind..
(sigh)
it took time for me to realize,
that you.. were you...
and I didnt want to play your fool
anymore.
So in a declaration and a last chance for you to
catch on...
I walked away.
never turning back..

Today as I was browsing through my facebook friends and readind random status updates, I came across this one that stated something about being the other woman and why the main woman shouldnt be mad at her, she should be mad at her man and that it isnt the other woman's fault that her man wants her...blah blah blah blah

i am a tool
exploited by u
for u
to feel good
giving you..
exactly what u want
when u want it
allowing my assets
to be ur playground
i am a tool
overworked
and overused
but all for u.
cuz its what u want
i have no mind
no voice
cuz im just a tool
an instrument
a toy...
u play with me when u want
then put me back on the shelf
til its time for the next
game...
the next time u need me to
help u
relieve all ur stresses.
i dont talk
i dont think
i jus allow u to
continue
to
make this
fool
out of me..
cuz i am a tool
ur fool tool
overworked
and overused
I am just a tool...
and I wonder if u care.....

it...
qucik and split
cooling it
captured it
then let it
left it
mind set on it
cuz i dont want to wate it
wanna feel it
sleep with it
marinate on it
moisterize in it
allow it
to caress me
open up to it
welcoming it
with open arms
it...
so much more than an it
cuz.. it lives in me
nurtures me
refreshing me in it
so much more than an it...
i just want to hold and keep it for myself for a while.
can I have it?

i must write first and cry later.
cuz writing helps release all of this
that builds up on th einside of me
essentially setting my soul free
freeing myself from the burdens that
may be upon me
so the tears cannot come right now..
they must wait.
till after the story is written
the ink in dry
the shoulder is dusted off
cuz i rather cry tears of joy
and forget the pain that has me
wanting to drench my pillows at night
so i must write first and cry later.
painting a picture with my words
with each stroke..
i feel it being washed away
i feel it being erased
almost like haagan Dazs Ice cream
it tastes that good.
not salty like the tears im tryna hide.
keeping to myself til i feel the time is right
i must write first...
and cry later.

i wish..
i wish.. at times that I couldnt feel.
cuz if i had no feelings
then i wouldnt let things
get to me the way that they do
shedding tears
searching for..
someone who is real
the real thing indeed
who can I run to.?
i wish...
i wish at times
that I couldnt feel.
not give a care...
allow everything to roll off my back
cuz of lack..
of...
seasons.. changing..
head spinnnnning
feel like like falling forward..
flat on my face..
then slipping backward..
on my ass
making a fool of myself.
i wish...
i wish.. at times... i couldnt... feel
then maybe that would give me time to heal
just maybe.

over stepped my boundary
by giving u the best of me
head spinning from
thoughts of when..
and all the men
who have gotten
bests parts of me
so i over steppe dmy boundaries...
by giving you the best of me
cuz you didnt earn it
nor do u deserve it
but I do it all in hopes
that you will appreciate
it..
me..
with all hopes..
of being loved
I shed three tears
one for me.
one for u
one for the hope that one day...
love will love me back.
I just want to be loved...

ooooh chile..
when i think
on
how
u
do me
when u do me
like u do me
makes me think of campbells soup
makes my head start to spinning
sends shivers
and quivers
all through out
me
u
dangerously consuming
in this
partaking in this
extra good...
extra sweet
extra... toe curling..
lip biting...
name calling...
wall climbing...
ship sinking
breakfast making...
loving.
u put in the time
the effort...
the grind
and i dont mind..
cuz u know
what to do
when u
do..
me
the way
u do
me.
u...
slowly..
taking the time...
tick, tock, tick, tock...
to make sure..
the voyage isnt
a regrettable one.
fill me up with
ur extra sweet.
extra delicious..
good stuff.
then
i drifted off to sleep.

sincerely, i apologize
i can't describe...how it felt when i
first'
thought of you.
yesterday...
i felt you
caressing my heart's pain.
it felt as if u were nursing me back to health.
had me in the recovery room
healing me from some almost fatal of fatalist wounds.
but the words were delayed
by the feeling.
i shed tears cause i didnt think
this could be.
that someone so cariing...
could and would care for me.
If only..
i could express
how i feel..inside..for. u.

well.. today.. is an okay day.. the sun is shining.. winding is blowing.. my feet are unswelling. great.

i love you
and this i know to be true
from the depths of my soul
it cries for you
longing for your warmth
your caress
your love in return
i have tried to hide
this
afriad of its power
but its too strong
so i wear it.
it clothes me
it is my coat in the winter like weather
my shades for the sun
my flowy dress that gives breath to my pores
my shoes that guide my feet
i love you
you crashed right into me
provided what i needed.
what i was looking for
but brought something more to this equation
the genuineness of your spirit
the calmness in your voice
the joy in your laugh
i am compelled
drawn...pulled...
made...captured...
surrendering to love...you
im waving my white flag..
arms up in the air
i love you
no if ands buts about it.
plain and simple
a refreshing as the dew is on the grass in the early morning
my love for you refreshes each day
each minute
each moment
with each heartbeat
i, my dear, love you.

so i wonder
why
I ever loved him
feeling pains of the yesterdays
how he hurt me so
and although I have let him go
thoughts of him still linger in my mind
crowding my cerebral
causing these tears to fall slowly down my eyes
with me questioning..
Why?
Why couldnt he love me, like I loved him?
Was I not good enough?
What was it about me, that he couldnt see
himself with me, anymore?
That hurts
that pain pierces me
in the depths of my inner being
Cuz I loved him
Gave him the best... of my love
but he couldnt return it..
I was in disbelief
ya know, its never any fun being in love by yourself
The pain
I gave him all of me
put his needs before... me
poured into him life
while i was suffering...
yet and still..
that wasnt enough for him
i looked past his faults
nourished them, caressed them
loved them
but my love was not good enough
cuz he left me
I still remember that day
how i cried, and how i cried, and how I...cried
my face I surely did hide
unable to bear it...
it felt like my insides had died
cuz...he was...the love of my life
he was my friend..
the pain...the pain.. the pain
the pain
has been erased
and in the right now of things