This started out as a response to gldnblulady, but I thought it might help other sisters too..
Sister, I feel your pain, literally, I've been there- a coupla' times, and got the t-shirt, fanny pack and souvenir book.
Just recently I decided "ok, I give!!!" Like yelling "Uncle" when you were little and someone was applying pressure to a limb, or ticklin' until you almost peed on yourself. I cried "Uncle", I can't take it, won't take it anymore. I've given my all and still it isn't enough. I've compromised and re-invented myself to fit into this package to be "loved" and still it wasn't enough.
And you know as scary as being "alone" after 14 years of marriage with 2 children, virtually NO FAMILY, NO FRIENDS, and a pyramid of bills- not to mention the statistics on finding a mate for Black women after 40- I said "Uncle".
Am I lonely?- yes, sometimes, but I was lonely in the marriage.
I'm doing things because I want to do them, alone if necessary!!!
Just went to an Erykah Badu concert by myself. It was PHENOMENAL!!!!
I'm getting to know me again-where was she? All these years???