maintaining life on one income is weighing me down. it has been for some time now. business is picking up a little and i am so grateful. with school starting next week, i don't think i could add a part-time job to the mix. so, i'm going to keep making things and do my best to promote as much as possible. i always told myself i should just lay a blanket down on a street corner somewhere and sell my stuff that way. i gotta get creative somehow.

anyway, i'm going to take advantage of the full moon energy this weekend and do a ritual. i gotta whole lotta stuff to release.

yoga in the morn in addition to prayer and meditation is keep me sane these days.

Since my post about fear, I have been taking time out each morning and night to pray and give thanks. That alone has helped me be more focused while at work. I find I'm more aware of what's going on around me and don't spend as much time walking around in a haze.


I have also been thinking about my future and goals I would like to set for myself. I know the Creator has a purpose for me, but I'm not quite sure what that is yet. I do know that I don't want to work behind a desk the rest of my life. I love to create with my hands and I also love to share my talents with others. So, I will continue to pray and ask for guidance.


Currently reading: The Goddess Blackwoman by Akil


Take time to enjoy the day.

i was walking around downtown yesterday morning and saw the city workers planting trees and watering the flowers. i walked a little further and found a magpie taking a bath in a small puddle underneath one of the hanging flower baskets. all i could do was laugh.



as my little girl and i were leaving the house this morning, we noticed a cat sitting underneath our pine tree basking in the sun's rays. i'm thankful for all of the most high's creatures. they definitely lift my spirits when i'm feeling low.



enjoy the day!

Fear. I know I've been holding on to it for quite some time. Most days I feel stifled and unsure of my Self. Deep down I know what to do, but I don't trust my Self enough to take the necessary steps to destroy it. I worry about what people will think (my parents mostly). Growing up I was shy and didn't like to participate much in games and things because I worried about the other kids laughing at me if I fell or messed up. I didn't want to make a fool of my Self. I realize as an adult that some of that has stuck with me.

In my dreams I see a woman who radiates so much light, I am blinded when I try to look at her. I realized early on that woman I see is me. There is a life I imagine for my Self and I know it's tangible. I know I can have it IF I just let go of the fear. But I hold my Self back. Why? Should I not ask why? Changes need to be made and I'm not even sure where to start. Over the last year, I've been meeting women who are living off of their art, living life the way they want. One sista told me that if I was unhappy, then I needed to make changes to my life because life is too short. Our conversation has stayed with me.

Today, my daughter and I went for a walk around the neighborhood. We stopped at the park and I had the time of my life. I forgot what it was like to soar through the air on a swing or slide down on the slide. We then walked back home and I pulled out my bike. It's been a long time since I've ridden a bike. Again, I forgot what it was like to feel the wind blow through my hair.

I am so thankful for my little girl who loves being outdoors and always coaxes me out of the house. I appreciate our walks together. Not only is the time good for her, but it's good for me.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow.