Well lately my relationship has more ups and downs...We've called off the wedding ...changed that..Now we're getting married as soon as possible...wait I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that....well let's get settled in and see where we are going...No lets just wait a few more months then let's get married..........
I know this sounds Crazy.......
Well now He's going one way And I'm going another....And this has become exciting to me..I've been in a committed relationship since 1999 and I'm excited about all the possiblities...I don't want to discard my relationship like some people think I should but We've been through so much together and we do truly love each other but after seven years we just need a break from each other to see if this is what we want for a Lifetime.....

I'm back at it again....I'm still not employed. I have been hard at work trying to find a job but I have been encountering a stumbling block. I have now decided that I have to accept the fact that some people belong in my life and some don't. if you have no value but to stop my progression I have no purpose for you....And sadly it doesn't include family...A few sundays ago at church the Pastor was preaching about "Yes People" and how the can run you down the wrong path...But I kept quiet about about what I felt...But what I feel is that "No People " can do more harm than "yes people" if your contanstly coming up against some one saying you can't do anything ...or they're telling you that your thoughts, desires and life is all wrong. You'll end up being resentfully and hatefully. So I have deceided that I'm making a Mid-Year resoultion I have to start cleaning house with the company I keep and I'm starting in my family. I've got to Get Rid of these Yes and No people. You know the saying "Clean around your own front..." I have to remove all negative people.

I'm back with another issue...I'm in a very stable relationship and we have been at this for 6 years and are still holding on. Well lately I've found myself daydreaming and fantasing about other men .... men from my past. Well me and "Dad"( I have always called him Dad, but I DO NOT mean my biological or stepfather he's my soon to be husband) have never had penatrational sex. And I've told him about my desires ......because if I can't share my feeling with him our relationship is dead. Anyway and all he does is talk about how much they all loved and craved me which does not help one bit.I've been able to control myself but now that we are in sperate households and rarely ever see each other these desires have become worse.....to the point of me trying to track them down which really is al that hard since I have facebook and myspace. I emailed them, but with only small talk but I really, really ever so much want to move on to the whens, wheres and hows but ......I don't want to louse up my relationship over some sex from the past that may not be as great as I remember.

I had a horrible year (2007) and it has rolled over into 2008. I'm a college educated black woman who has no job, no place to stay (of my own), and no car. Last May I lost my job and had to move home with my family (which is horrible in itself). I've been trying hard to find a job and in Nov of 2007 I found and was hired for a job that was four hours away from where I had a place to stay. However in that city I had a best friend who said I could stay with her until i was able to get aa place for myself. The year was starting to look up then......i came back "home" and told my mother and family that I got the job and ould finally be able to leave and pay bills. ( When you have a job you dread paying bills but when you've been out of work for 7 months paying bills means that you are back on your feet) I was totally excited to find a job. However my mother wasn't she wanted to know where I was going to stay and how I was going to get to work and back everyday. So I told her that i had made arrangements to stay with my BF and she became livid.